I have felt like every post is basically the same, So I will try to write a little differently. Life was for me was always changing, once I became used to a place, way of life, or I knew to many people I would escape. I have move 51 times since I was a baby, and before I met my wife at 28. I move 3 times since then, for a total of 54 times.
This time I decided I have had enough of that time of lifestyle, for you know you have been at a place to long when the backup postman is someone who is not just a friend you know, but a Facebook friend as well. Where I live I have seen my tattoo artist at my doctors office, my doctor at the gym, I was part of phi theta kappa with my psychiatrist’s son, and now this.
The truth is I am no longer a stranger to myself anymore, I have let people in. I find it weird that people remember me when it takes me a minute to remember them. This has never happened before in my life, and compliments are abound from a lot of people. I still have to fight the inner me to accept these things, I totally feel like running away.
Truth is if this is the end for me, I am in the right place. I believe my teachers like me, my martial arts family likes me, my other family’s like me, and weirdly enough; I think I am beginning to like me. This might be to late in the game for me seeing as I might not have much time left, but here is the good news, that doesn’t matter, I feel like I helped the one person I was meant to help, I might never know who that is, but I feel like my life was not wasted.
I was taught that to have a successful life, one must have one great friend, and help one person. My life was beyond this, and I have a few years left, with a possibility of more if I get a heart transplant. I live for my wife, I live for my families, and the biggest part is I invite all into the realization that we all are family. We battle things that are unseen each day.
We walk a path that others find to be impossible and yet we find away to cope each day. My hardest part of each day isn’t the insanity of overly talking because I am truly an introvert, it is actually getting up and leaving the house daily. My struggles are not with others, for that would be to easy, truth is my biggest struggle is with myself. I find my battles to be very difficult and trying.
Here is the good news for me, I am not a quitter, I battle each day to be better than I was yesterday, and most importantly I am winning. This is how I know I am winning, because I am depressed and yet I am still getting up. I am still trying, if I don’t get something done, I will just move on. I figured out something great, no one, I mean no one, and this includes myself can stop me, once I decided to finish what I started.
Not Mental health, Addiction, or Heart failure, not any of these things, see even if I die in by January 2019, I will win because I got up and did what they said I couldn’t do. I accomplished what the doctors told me was impossible, and I rubbed the noses of those who deemed me trash, by doing what they said I would not be allowed to do.
Life is not easy, life is life. We find our places through hardship and pain, and through failure, and success. Where were you when you discovered the life you were meant to lead? Did it take a path that might lead to death to finally realize you are more alive then ever? Or will you realize that for you, life isn’t perfect, and from now on, you will fight on, harder and stronger knowing that someone else took it in the chin and will find your vicortories in another’s mistakes. I have live, learned and accepted my life through not only my mistakes, but others as well. Please don’t find yourself when it might be too late. Fight yourself, get up, it is a struggle, and begin a new life. Peace from your friend- Bruce