The fountain of discovery is in the idea of what is it you truly want to discover. I have found I will always be alone in the idea that you lose even when you win. I was taught how to live in a way that “do as I say, not as I do.” What truly happens when this actually happens? Does the one who preaches this, allow you to experience his love in the idea that you listen, followed, and did everything you were told? Or is it a case of now we have to eat those words? Well I listened, I followed not only the letter of what I was told, but I went beyond to try and secure a blessing in life that will truly not be understood. I believe I have their love, but I also have assumptions about me, that are not even close. I don’t understand why people hate me. Let me tell you a secret, I have been physically hurt more times then I an count, mostly by myself, to stop the mental anguish I endure; Words hurt, they hurt me more than physical pain does. When I was told I wasn’t humble, because I started saying good things about myself, well I did that because I was yelled at for saying bad things about myself all the time. Here is the delema and answer, I will say the bad, and the good. I will not ever understand why people have to hurt me mentally, all I want is to learn and grow, teach and know. That is it. I want my integrity to be the only thing I own! For it is. I live on this earth to be of service, to expand my abilities and to learn from my mistakes. Listening to others since birth has helped and hurt me. I will move under the window, no matter who I am people will hate me, not understand me, nor will life be easy for me. I choose to follow one word in life, that is integrity. What’s your word to live by?


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