Fighting on

The very idea of quit is nothing I find approachable, I am bothered by the one blemish on my record. The issue is in everything I was given a second chance in, I far exceeded expectations. This one area bothers me, for the damage I have done to myself over the years,started there. They believe, making a 19 year old kid homeless is ok. Saying a person who was on, not one, but three suicide watches was stable to ask for a representative in a trial. Seems to me, to be utter bull. I was a college dropout, I am about to get my bachelor’s degree, I quit martial arts at 15 due to fear of myself, I was about to test for my second degree black belt when I came down with Congestive Heart Failure. Watch out doing meth as a young person, I am paying the price 20 years later, and I only did it to work, see I suffer from ADHD, Bipolar, and PTSD. It allowed me to be socially normal, I used for one and a half years. I am 41 and wearing a defibrillator, awaiting them to figure out when they’re going to place a pacemaker in me. Should I quit? Not a chance, I will be teaching martial arts again soon. I will be volunteering with NAMI as well. I owe no one an explanation of the illnesses I deal with, I just owe myself forgiveness. I did not fail, my younger self, did not fail, I made a bad decision based on their treatment of me. Journeys are as a wave goes, up and down, my wave started with a splash,  life was sink or swim, see I am one thing that I know for sure- Survivor! Live for others, and understand this, the more you give, the more you get! Peace friends 

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