6-5-2017 The Finish of Dream Two

     The focus of life is not the finish, it is the process unto which our life roles. The finish is always overwhelming, but the next indicated step never is. In life the finish will come, as always in the time it is supposed too. So why focus on the finish? 
     Enjoy the process and one day you will look back and say “damn I really did that!” Completing not one but two dreams in my life isn’t amazing, it was how it happened. It wasn’t without hardship, and disappointments along the way, shoot I found out I need a heart transplant. That doesn’t even suck. 
      The truth is people believe me about having that illness. It is better than say the other major illnesses that i suffer from, see physically I just figure can’t do anything but work around it. Mental illness, I was told that it doesn’t exist for so long, that it makes me anxious to even to mention it. In fact though I talk about it a lot, that is only to help others, not myself. 
     I have believed I am a faker and excuse maker. For that was what people said, too me the truth is my hardest journey in life isn’t completing these major things, but getting out of bed! In 5 days I will do something I NEVER even imagined seeing as I had a .9 GPA in the first two years of high school, and actually had too be a sophomore for a year and a half. I took night classes as a senior to graduate on time to go into a military that threw me out like garbage they thought I was. 
     So how did I change all this too accomplished what I have? I focus on leaving the house first! Than I make it to each class, each test that follows, work on each fear as it comes, and the finish where I look back and say DAMN! I never thing I will finish until two days or so after I do. I realized I wasn’t as dumb as the three doctors that said I was until midway into my senior year at WWU. It was then I realized I just didn’t think like everyone else, and that was ok. 
     People just don’t get that they scare me the most, oh you can hit me, but to break me all you have to do is use words. I can take a hit physically, it’s the pain of those people without a heart ❤️ that hurts me. See I have Bipolar ADHD, PTSD that comes from lack of understandingn, and abuse that I endured because of these illnesses. So what the hell can a little heart issue do to me? Oh I can die from it, but I am now treated like a human being. Oh and a little secret for you all- it too is an unseen illness.. SURPRISE people are hypocrites! 😂 
    Well I am just going to enjoy life and follow my next dream of becoming a Kyo Sa ( Martial Arts Instructor). Almost there. Dream three, will not be stopped just because I love too much and it my heart too big for my body! 💔😂 the journey made me powerful enough to walk through my difficulties not the finish. ✌️

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