Truth

So it seems that telling what i have done in life is upsetting to people. A few people have said that it isn’t relevant to life, well i am not bragging, but trying to show that we can overcome anything. No matter what.

I guess that doesn’t matter. Whatever. The message is heard correctly in one part of my life, and not in the other. Well to those that find me a selfish bastard, thats you. I am just trying to use this life to help others.

If you all think i am so arrogant. Let me tell you want i see and feel. I am a non working person, whose illnesses make them have to rely on others to survive. That is what i see.

That is not the truth of who i am, but it is who i see when i look in the mirror. The truth is between the two i guess. I have been told i brag, i am not humble, my message isnt alcoholic enough, and that people say i dont care what anyone else says.

Well the truth is, i dont care about the good things people say, or i do in life. Life isn’t about about that, it is about overcoming the bad to do the good things in life.

My journey isn’t any harder than anyone else’s. Yeah i have mental health issues, and a bum heart where the doctor’s gave me an awesome message of a lack of a future.

I still have found an awesome wife, and her family loves me. The support is beyond anything i could imagine. I am asked to talk at the local level of NAMI (National Alliance for Mental illness) on more then one occasion.

This isn’t about what I have done in life, this is what i am trying to give back. The doctor’s gave me 2 years unless i get a heart transplant, 1 year 4 months ago, yes i might survive, but i got better, not fully. I have found myself nearly being shocked to death, because i will not just sit back and wait to die.

When it shocked me 3 times in 6 minutes, i didn’t think it was going to stop shocking me. It is very scary, but i am still here trying to help others and fighting hard. Last time they checked my heart, it improved from 19% to 27%, yes i am functioning at 27% of my heart. A lot less than half of a full functioning heart.

I still feel blessed and happy in my life. I just want to help as many people as i can before the end. I might live for a minute, or 20+years. When you are told that you will not live long, and at middle age, your actually old, for at 43 there is really more of a chance that 86 will not be in your future, the world changes in how you approach life.

I live to help others, always have. Now i just have a shorter time to do it.

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