People keep telling me to stop apologizing. i can name several of my love ones that do it, its not that they dont care, nor that they are not educated. The problem is they just don’t pay attention to what is they say.

Talking to someone like me, is like being full P.C. all the time. You can’t. There is no way you wont try to get me up and going while i am in a bad state, with all the wrong sayings, that actually motivates others. You are witnessing someone you love collapsing in front of you. You want to fix it. You can’t.

Here’s the problem, it won’t fix me right then. Time will give me back to the world. And i will apologize for being sick a hundred times. It’s part of the sickness. My world can be a selfish one. I don’t like, or want it to be selfish, i just dont know how to get up and do what people want me to do some days.

The good news is that i am bipolar, which means that i will bounce back from it. The problem, is not the issue; the issue is the patients of my love ones. I am a fighter, i have accomplished many things that the doctor’s said i couldn’t do. Relax into the knowledge that it will happen.

I recently just started painting, why because i can. No other reason. See my limits are my own brain, while on the down side, i can not find the strength to get out of bed, maybe i am saving it, for when i do get out of bed and accomplish those amazing things.

All my issues can be described in one word– Bipolar

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